areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
