i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Randomize
