I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
