His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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