Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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