So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize