I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
