Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
