i don't like sucking hair
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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