he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
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If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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