I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
