I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize