I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dicks are not precious.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
