i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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