ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
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