whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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