Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
