I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
