I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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