i don't like sucking hair
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
