I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize