Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
