Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She's the barista slut.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
