Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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