Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
