I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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