what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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