Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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