sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize