are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
