My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
