thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
