Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
