yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
