i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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