sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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