forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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