she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
