Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
