u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
