Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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