i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My pussy is not your playground.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
