Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Can Purell be used as lube?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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