If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
