you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
