there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
