Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
