I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
