She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
