Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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