I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Found the puke drawer
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
