...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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