Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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