i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
