Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
