i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
