Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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